It is a roadmap to lead me back to where I was and remind me who I used to be. I am leaving a trail of bread crumbs so when I find myself lost again, I won’t get as scared. I won’t get as lost. So that I can find my way back to myself.
I used to wake up in the middle of the night looking for someone to comfort me. Fill the hole in my heart. Take away the loneliness. Take away the pain. And of course, I would be alone with no one to soothe me.
I am crafting a set of lenses to reflect upon past struggles, triumphs, and paths to bring me back into the present before searching for a brighter tomorrow.
My writing is a gift to myself. It is my self care. It is my way of dealing with my painful past.
I seldom wake up like I used to. But when I do, I know who to reach out to and what I must do. I reach out to myself. I soothe and embrace the frightened child until she falls asleep. I am all I needed. I am all I need. I didn’t know this until I grew older and wiser. Perhaps I wasn’t ready until I was older and wiser.
Writing is what I do when no one is watching. It is what I do without pay. It is what I do without recognition. I do so with diligence and care. I do so with brutal honesty. It makes me uniquely me. It makes me happy.