This mourning

I’m adjusting relatively well to the new time zone. My sleep can improve.

Most are shocked to see my dry eyes crinkling with laughter. Why isn’t she depressed? Why isn’t she sitting in the corner crying? How can she be okay?

Practice makes everything easier. This is the third major death of immediate family member. It was not the first, nor will it be the last. We are born. We die. Why are we shocked to learn of death, when that is the surest truth of human existence?

Death is like sex. Some parents believe that talking about sex will lead to their children having premature sex. Most don’t broach the subject of death unless it is to share sympathy or relay the horrific news. We don’t talk about death. We are therefore unprepared for the inevitable end of our lives. How will those survived carry out the funeral? What will happen to my asset? Who will look after the dependents? Why do only 40% of us have a will, yet we kow where we are going for our next holiday?

This death made me think about life differently. There is one life with this one body and mind. Instead of worrying and wondering if we are good enough, why don’t we worry about the type of life we lead? Am I livng my best life? What must I stop doing? What should I invest more time and money?

Emotions still surge.

I cried. I screamed. I was sad. Grief will strike unexpectedly.

But when I looked at his life, separate from my own guilt and regret, I think he had a good life. He left without pain. He had a respectful and celebratory send off attended by the hundreds. He had created a community of friends, mentors, mentees, and family that would mourn the loss of his life. He lived fully, and ate three meals that were the ultimate testament of his well being and contentment. No savings. No assets. A man working to live day to day. A man who took care of others and not himself nor his biggest responsibility. He did the best he could. He was proud of his creations.

He was a man who gave his best.

I wonder if I am living my best, using the gifts, talents, and opportunity I have been fortunate to have in my life