Lately, I have been binging on Netflix series and feeling like a zombie. Not ideal and completely nonproductive. Addiction of this nature is a symptom of unresolved internal issues.
I haven’t been able to do much writing, and it’s impossible to do so while driving. I deleted the wretched app from my phone and got some well received rest last night.
To make the best use of my drive to work, I decided to say out loud the things usually captured in black and white. I talked out loud, highlighting recent events that magnetized fears boiling to the surface.
Appreciating the people and the things in my life. Celebrating accomplishments. Lamenting on failures.
Recapping the dreams and hopes that have mostly come true.
Conclusion? Growth and development is important to me. It makes me happy to push against the boundaries. I had been holding myself back for foolish reasons, and despite my efforts to grow, I had been too accustomed to shrinking and hiding away from the world. Like a baby elephant tied to a pole and growing big and powerful, yet not knowing it is free to go as it wishes.
No longer small and powerless.
It takes a long time to change our behavior. Habit, they call it.
What must I do to change my ways from the old to the desired new state.
Don’t handle the same thing twice. Touch it once. Do it right first time. Reduce switching costs. Have difficult discussions as soon as possible.
It was good to vent to myself this morning. Overdue catharsis.