Living beyond our means

My eyes squint to see who is driving a fancy white car. I am amazed to see someone from my team. What I know is this: she makes too little money to afford such a car. Why would someone buy a moving liability that gets used 2 hours a day, that sits in a lot, and most likely a heavy financial burden?

Why do live beyond our means? Why do we enslave our lives to jobs to pay for products with no intrinsic value? Why do we buy things to impress others and seek external validation?

I don’t care about worldly posessions. I value time and fleeting moments full of joy.

What do I drive? A small car that does what it’s supposed to: get me from here to there safely with no bells and whistles.

Blank

A piece of white paper.

Sketch an idea or a plan. Draw lines and color the blocks. Take notes. Write a love letter. Turn it over. Do it all over again.

Fold it once. Then some more. Make a boat. Or an airplane to take flight. Cut it. Crumple it into a ball. Throw it at someone before running away with mischief. Ha!

What do you see? A blank canvas? A construction material to realize our wildest imaginations?

Life is like a piece of paper. What we choose to do with it is entirely up to us.

Mom

She has two children of her own. She adopts her ex-husband’s two nieces and nephew. She becomes a mom of five children. Then she gets cancer.

After surgery, she sets up a restaurant to feed her children, aged 3 to 18 years old.

She chooses to forgot chemotherapy to keep her breadline going.

Perspective… imagine this lady’s life and compare our struggles against her’s.

Gratefulness

Walking to my car, I smell flowers in bloom.

On my drive home, the sun sets to my right, as another day bids me a soft pinkish adieu.

Ability to smell and see. Two senses we take for granted. Just imagine how life would be, if our eyes and nose didn’t work!

For the next while, I will do my best to be thankful for all that I have. And sever ties with the unhappy business of complaining for all that I lack.

3 3 1

Daily reminders. A friend was advised to do this and I’d like to replicate.

3 things I am grateful for.

3 things I have learned.

1 goal for the day.

I am grateful for my health, amazing friends and special person.

I have learned:

1. It doesn’t matter how well you play for the first 90% of the game. It’s not over until it’s over. Play the entire game. Don’t slack off. Tidy up.

2. We should never measure today’s encounters based on yesterday’s experiences.

3. Reminders help us do the right thing. Even simple things like washing and exfoliating our faces.

Today, I will do my best to finish off what I started.

예습 복습

Preview and review. Repeat.

Teachers would recite 예습 복습 before every lesson.

Simple yet critical way to learn and retain.

Maybe this is another way to break down with the latest fad: live with intention.

Space

The late Stephen Covey, through his book “8th habit”, mentions the importance of creating space between the two forces:

  • Stimulus –> Space –> Response (reaction)
  • Cause –> Space –> Effect

External forces cannot be controlled or forecast. But we can control how long and big the space needs to be. The space determines the effectiveness and appropriateness of our responses.

It’s not practical to have space for every external force. Intentional space between inhaling and exhaling is called a defibrillator. It would be silly to have space between every step we take. Some things must be hard wired.

On the other hand, it would be terrible to hard wire responses to various emotional stimuli.
Unfortunately, we tend to relate one stimuli to the next, when the person and situation are completely different.

How do we know when to apply the space vs. providing automatic response?
Once we decide, how do we create the right amount of space between the stimuli and the effect?

The one

They say there is only one person that can love you.

Soul mate. The one. The chosen.

You look all over the world for this special person.

No matter how hard you try, you keep spinning in circles.

You may have been searching in all the wrong places.

You will find the person when you stop looking.

You will find this person when you close your eyes.

You will see that only you can love yourself. You can’t outsource the most important job to others.

Not even to close friends, family and lovers. They don’t work for you. They are there for you to express your love and appreciation.

Choice

The opposite of happiness is not caused by misfortune.

Instead of growing grateful for all that we have, we worry about the things we don’t have.

We sow our own discontentment.

We are the gardener of our own happiness.

Appreciate all that you have.

Change your attitude. Change your life.

Turn that frown upside down.

random events

Pressed for time, the tarp atop a heap of dirt is not secured. It hangs loose. As the driver picks up her speed, a batch of dirt escapes the truck. She barely notices.

A man in his passenger car is driving to work. One of his wheels picks up a pebble. Less than a second later, the pebble flies 120 kmh before hitting the windshield of the car behind him. A small stone cracks the glass. The impacted driver swears under her breath. The man has no idea. He drives on.

Some distance away, a girl is walking down a familiar road. She must be off to school. A gas cylinder appears out of nowhere and knocks her flat onto the road. The bones on her legs crunch on impact. She cries out.