Author: Han NaGil

Flashing lights and calls of siren rattled us awake on our first night in the rented Boston apartment. Next day, my newly minted roommates decided to bail. These suburbanites didn’t feel safe in the city and called their parents. Our one day landlord was understanding and returned our deposit.

I had one week of school before having to move out of my dorm room. As I was packing up my beat up 86 Ford Fiesta, a friendly upperclassman asked me where I would be spending my summer. I said I didn’t have a place to stay but had secured a summer job in Boston.

She offered her parent’s place in passing. I knew it would be impolite to say yes but I didn’t want to stay with my aunt and uncle who lived an hour away from Boston. There was no way my car would make the daily commute. Her parents agreed, and I moved in with my friend, her Mom, Dad, and older brother for three months. Her mom charged me weekly rent of $25.
It was one of the best summers I’ve ever had, if not the best, hanging out with my friend’s family, going to clubs with my friend and her older brother, working long hours, making friends at work, and having what felt like a safe home to go back to every night.

That was 20 years ago. My friend, Eunice’s mom, also named Eunice, sends me happy birthday email every year. Everytime I see her email address pop up, my heart somersaults. Through the small black letters, I still feel their love across the Atlantic.

Today is my sixth day off from work. In the beginning, 7 days felt long.
Last Saturday. I did something that kept me busy. I can’t recall what.
Sunday, met a fellow alien, watched walking dead. Couldn’t sleep because of the zombies…
Monday, bought big bowls and made kimchi.
Tuesday? Started a Korean series. Made doctor’s appointment. Went for 2-hour art class, a challenge from my friend. She thinks I am too structured and wouldn’t take instructed classes. I did it, to honor her request and be open. During the two hours, I had fun. I hung up the picture of an orchid on the wall that I painted. Remembering, what the instructor told a lady drawing a picture of her son ‘Look at the object, not the paper. Draw what you see. Make corrections as you go. You can fix it. Make little adjustments here and there.’ I wasn’t given any instructions aside from a blank sheet of paper and box of charcoal. I chose an onion and potato to sketch. There is only so much you can draw with rock like objects. Orchid turned out to be more difficult and fun.

Wednesday, binge-watched Korean series and made cookie. Defrosted frozen food but forgot about it, and had to throw it away.
Thursday, had a long bath while reading Love in the time of Cholera. Got angry. Went for a message. Small misunderstanding, a fight and make up. Brunch. Nap. Started reading Ernest Hemingway’s “A Moveable Feast.” Then dinner.
Friday, I made labels for kimchi. Paid bills. Ramyun for Lunch. Wrote four short cards. Had pizza. Finished Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez. I hated it despite One Hundred Years of Solitude being one of my favorite and most-read novels of all times. Why? Because it was a book written by a man, from a man’s perspective, misconstruing what happened, and using women as mere foils of the men’s character. How one of the protagonist’s closest ally gets raped and she spends her life looking for him. Not to destroy, but love the strong man who threw her down on the docks, when she was a young girl. Or, how one little girl was placed under the guardianship of the Protagonist, only to be ‘in a relationship’ with a man 60 years her senior. How he had to re-braid her hair, and tie her shoe laces. How she missed the Sundays spent out in the back. But I can’t get mad, can I? These were words written by a man, for men. Writing what he knows and believes. Everyone is free to believe and whatever one chooses. I am going to use this anger as the fuel to sustain the fire inside. Let’s park this for now.

Today, I bought 2 domains. Researched domain name provider vs. hosting vs. websites. Researched which business banks to use by watching YouTube videos. Some talked too much and didn’t help until I came across Amanda Russell who was clear and concise. Even her background was a turquoise calm. Researched which state to incorporate the LLC in. Thought about the weather (it’s nice out today). Thinking about everything and nothing. I think creating content on how to set up a business could be of value to me and everyone else. There are too many disjointed and incoherent content. It’s not easy to understand exactly what needs to be and in what order.

Enough of ‘hard ideas’. I sketched a picture of my grandmother, remembering Tuesday’s lessons. It doesn’t look anything like her, of course. But I had fun, and I reminisced our last days together. Realizing what I’ve read over and over again. Life is a journey, not a destination.

Lessons of the week:

1. I need better sleep hygiene. If I am well rested, I am happier and more productive the next day. Resting for the sake of resting, is not for me.
2. Doing nothing is difficult. I end up looking for easy content to distract my mind. Actively being silent and doing nothing is a skill.
3. I am happiest when I am productive.
4. Being clean and tidy declutters the mind.
5. Working out is a habit that I need to get back into.
6. I cannot consume violent content. I can’t sleep for days.
7. Learning only happens by doing. No one can teach you if you don’t apply the knowledge yourself.
8. Unattended mailbox taught me I waste a lot of time consuming content. Even if these were from New York Times, LinkedIn, McKinsey, Economist, Bloomberg, and I’ll teach you to be rich, these are all personal opinions at the end of the day. Someone’s opinion, belonging to recognized and reputable organization. Is this a good use of my time? No.
9. When some things take too long, I end up not doing it. A bad habit which I need to break.
10. I need to become one person. The same person at work = me with my friends and family

Until you have something else that will create a solid revenue stream.

I have read that you should test out your ideas and test the market potential while you still have a job. Theoretically, it makes sense, but I didn’t get it. Until now, that is.

I have a friend who is full of ideas. She will immerse herself into new ventures with full animation. They are all awesome ideas. The only problem? No one is willing to pay for her services. Let’s take a corporate example.

Guy is a go getter. He gets things done. He exceeds every target. Every year. But…he is not a team player. Doesn’t include his peers in critical decision making, and people in his team don’t know what their goals are for the rest of the year.

Sally is also a go getter. She meets her target every year. She is a great team player. She includes all in her decision making, and her team appreciates her coaching and clear communication style. Her customers love her, but they are not able to buy from her because they are small businesses owners.

Guy is in sales. He is the #1 sales lead. Sally is in sales too, but she is only #100.

Who gets promoted? Guy becomes head of sales. But his team suffers from unclear guidelines and effective communication skills.

Corporates, while touting teamwork and communication as critical skillsets, they will promote those that increase sales or reduce costs. They would rather invest money in sales programs, instead of general people skill development.

It seems my friend is going for the latter. Further, she has not gotten paid for her other small ventures in 3 months.

Imagine the stress. Working full time and testing side hustles is stressful. But compared to the stress of no income and no leads, juggling 2 endeavers is better. Why? You have one solid revenue while you develop the unknown. You have 3 options with this scenario: 1. Keep job. 2. Keep job and side hustle. 3. Quit job and do side hustle 100% of the time.

If you had quit to pursue your dreams, you have only one option: make it work.

Of course, the art of war says you must burn your ships so the soldiers have no choice but to win the battle.

But we are not fighting enemies with faces, a battle of skill and commitment between two defined adversaries. One wins. The other loses.

There is no enemy. There is no war. We do not have control over ammunition, vantage points, escape routes, and supply chain.

The market decides everything. The hiring manager must give you the job. Consumers must be willing to pay for your products or services. You can’t force them to do anything. You must be good enough. You must be better than your competition. What you do or think, if it does not match up to market expectations, has no future.

So maybe you shouldn’t burn your ship. You shouldn’t quit your day job. Your day job provides the ammunition, vantage points, escape routes, and supply for your new ventures. Instead of burning your ship, use it to your advantage. It will reduce the sheer panic of making things work (when it won’t) and having to borrow and beg from your family.
It will give you the peace of mind, despite the crazy hours and ongoing frustration of the day to day factory shifts.

Don’t quit your job until you can build another ship of your own colors. It must be ready to sail with your chosen soldiers, provisions, and cash register to collect all that money!

Low unemployment rates. Favorable interest rates. Bull stock market. Unicorns roam the Silicon Valley. Uber this. Airbnb that. Sharing is king. Gig economy is in.

January rings with faint news of yet another respiratory disease from China. It’s probably another SARS or MERS. Meh. We continue to live our best lives doing what we do best. Go to work. Try out the latest fashion. Swipe right. Brunch. Dine. Wine. Socialize. Deal and wheel. Vacation overseas.

Global citizens, we can go anywhere and do anything! The world is our oyster. Nom nom nom.

Until it wasn’t. Borders shuttered. Travelers stranded. Lovers separated. Weddings delayed. Birthday parties cancelled. Elective surgeries ceased. No more handshakes. No more hugs! No more conversations. Everyone is scared. We shut ourselves in.

Enter digital workspace for office workers. Massive layoffs and unemployment for others. Small businesses shuttered, and big companies hobble along. Yet, some thrive. New businesses spring up, and new wealth is created still.

You are forced to stay home, all by yourself. Or with people in your house, but don’t spend any time with.

No more traveling! You are not to socialize!

Socialites become hermits. Hermits grow lonely. Couples break up. Estranged family members make up. No more distractions. Kicking and fighting, we stand still.

Take away the outside world. 

Take a deep breath. Remember to breathe.

If you forget to breathe, you will die. Covid-19 reminds us to breathe on our own, without the help of others.

Mourning yawns. Morning dawns.

We look into the rearview mirror of who has contacted us over the past six months? Who did we stay in touch with? What have we purchased? Everything shrinks. We cut out the clutter.

We cook. We eat. We sleep. We go for walks.

We go back to basics.

We focus on the important. What was once urgent is no longer relevant.

We take off our glasses of the past. We open our eyes.

It is 2020, and we have perfect vision.

I had a meeting with SAP Ariba Preferred Care representative. The website designed for suppliers looks promising at first, but it is clunky and something out of 2002, not 2020. A small ? button on the top right hides Q&A if you click on it. Like magic. And I don’t know how to get it back. It feels like minecraft but way less exciting.

I ask the Preferred Care Rep to please update the website because it is not user friendly.

Her answer: Log enhancement request. There is nothing I can do.

I see a function that looks useful. I click on it. It opens. It doesn’t work. I ask the lady again.

Her answer: I don’t know. You must be on the list to receive updates.

This is the company founded by Keith Krach in mid 1990s which revolutionized B2B commerce. I used Ariba in 2013 and was impressed with what I saw and experienced. Imagine my surprise 7 years later.

The company is based out of Silicon Valley and owned by SAP. Yet, the website looks like it was made by an amateur in 1999. UI and UX is not considered at all. This from the founder who defined category creation:

“Success is not timing, not a fluke, not good luck. It is simply recognizing the profound patterns, looking for the need, the paradigm shift, assembling the team, and giving them a clear mission.”

The founder moved on long time ago, and the product that once wowed the market is no longer.

One day, you may be the revolutionary or leader in your market, but once you stop improving and forget about your customers, you become a dinosaur and die out.

On Sunday, after 8 minutes of rowing, my lower back pulled a little. I took a 2 minute breather and went back to rowing, to achieve my target of 30 minutes.

Few hours later, I can barely bend and my back is killing me. I have never experienced this type of pain? Try putting on pants when your back doesn’t bend? Hahaha!!!

Actually, I cringed. Ow. I ignored my first rule: listen to your body. Pain is a strong sign. Telling you to stop what you are doing.

This rule trumps the no pain no gain mantra. So I must start over again on my fitness journey. How exciting.

I am okay, aside from being stuck with no immediate prospect of seeing family and friends overseas. Airplanes stopped taking off in March 2020, aside from repatriation flights. I am a US citizen with South African residency. My livelihood is here, while my family members are overseas. So I stay here, because home is where the pay check is (for now).

Phase 1.

I wake up. Stare at my laptop until my eye balls hurt. Order glasses. Put glasses on. Drink water. Go pee. Get on teams call. Try to do some work, until I get a phone call. Do that. And go back to my work. Another meeting. Drink water. Go on mute. Pee again. Eat something. Go to sleep. Repeat.

Phase 2.

Do the same but introduce weekend walks. Enjoy birds singing and other humans exercising around me.

Phase 3.

Create home office to separate work from home. Mildly successful until I have to work in the living room again for 2 weeks.

Phase 4.

Phase 1 and 2 with daily rowing at the end of day.

Work. Eat. Drink water. Sleep. Repeat.

Phase 5.

Instead of trying to fit life into work, I am trying to fit work into life. Because work never ends and life is finite.

So far, so good.