She was emotional. I was not. I apologized for my logical and effective action that resolved silly escalations that had spiralled out of control for two months. But she felt that I stole credit and did not acknowledge the good work done by her team. She also demanded fairness and said we shouldn’t help someone who didn’t follow the process.
I did what I did to stop the email wars because principles don’t make the noise go away.
I said I was sorry and meant every word. I wasn’t sorry for what I did. I was sorry that she was upset. I was sorry for the miunderstandings. If I had to do it all over again, I would take the same action.
I thanked her for the honest and frank feedback. She thanked me for being always open to feedback.
Being a leader isn’t about being right. It’s about listening, understanding, and accepting. I also learned that the best way to motivate her is to acknowledge her team for the hard work they do. She wants recognition of the effort that went into their work day.
Effort is important, yes. But I measure and value outputs. I now understand how she wants to be treated, and so, I will adjust my approach.